How did he die? Didn’t he have his nitroglycerine pills in his hand? Those pills would have surely saved him!
And so it goes . . .
Childproof, foolproof, theft proof, you name it proof. All packaging has now become a worthy opponent that takes power, ingenuity, and patience to open. As I get older, I realize that I have very little of any of those prerequisites to open a package.
Use a utility knife or scissors to assist you, you say? I have a scar on my hand from the six stitches needed to close the wound self-inflicted by the utility knife that slipped in the opening of one of those hermetically sealed thick plastic packages.
What about the warning on some packages do not use a sharp object to open because of running the risk of damaging the product? Now, what do you do? I was never on the wrestling team in high school, but I could have used a few moves trying to wrestle open this package. Perhaps if I jumped from the turnbuckle on to the package it may open. Perhaps if I got it into a chicken wing it would submit. Perhaps if I got it into a full nelson it would tap out. Who ordered this stupid package anyway. I guess I will have to wait until my wife who has much more power, ingenuity and patience to get home and open the darn thing.
With head throbbing, you are greeted with the realization that you will have to open a new bottle of pain reliever. Aha! Once you get the pain reliever package open, tearing through the box, then the plastic seal around the cap, you are greeted by a covering inside the cap. No way am I going to use a sharp object here, so I plunge my thumb risking at the least a broken nail or at worst a dislocation. Phew! I finally opened it now wondering what specific pain I had previously due to the many that I have now, particularly my damn thumb.
The poor dead person who finally succumbed to a heart attack all because he could not open the new bottle of nitroglycerine. Can you imagine his eulogy and subsequently the engraving on his headstone?
HERE LIES JOE; HE NEVER HAD A CHANCE AGAINST THAT FORMIDABLE OPPONENT
