Whether black or white, male or female . . . no matter. We have all realized that if our mother is angry, we all suffer.
Now, this blog isn’t about anti-motherhood, far from it. Usually, mom had every right to be mad based on a variety of precipitous situations. We husbands know full well this expression, “Happy wife, happy life.” As we age, we learn to not anger mom so much, as well as, learn how to get out of the doghouse and return mom to the wonderful, caring, nurturing person of her innate nature. We try not to exacerbate the situation, perhaps giving her a chance to cool down.
How does this relate to race relations?
When it comes to racial relations, whether overtly or covertly, we don’t treat each other the way we try to understand and console, then correct what was angering our mothers. As a result, more time of anger and hurt is added to the over 150 years already served. That time of living on eggshells is preventing both races from living happy, peaceful lives.
If mom is mad, do we tell her that she has nothing to be angry about? Do we dismiss her as stupid, silly, and worthless? Do we invalidate her feelings? Are we insensitive to the history that led up to her current anger? No, and hell no!
As Cookie Marsh and I have been meeting with groups of whites and blacks, we are convinced that our movement has, as its core, the meeting and getting to know one another and to dispel ignorance by learning about the past struggles. Black people want to know that white people are aware of segregation and discrimination not just 150 years ago but to this day. White people need to know why blacks are sensitive and sometimes over-react.
During our presentations, I ask a member of the audience to pretend that I have a bad wound on my forearm. I then ask her to move her hand near the “injury” but to not touch my arm. I then scare the heck out of her by screaming “What are you doing? I just told you about that injury!” The intended effect is evident. I am overly sensitive because of this “wound” and was afraid that it would be touched causing me more and continued pain.
Underlying all of this is the core belief that, just as Mom is a wonderful woman due our utmost respect, each of us, black or white deserves the same consideration. The point is obvious and summed up by the expression of “pouring salt into a wound.” When mom is in a rage, we would have to be crazy to try whether intentionally or stupidly to pull out the salt shaker.
PHOTO CREDIT: Graham Crumb, Imagicity.com licensed under the Creative Commons.
