There are a few things in life that I just don’t get.
- Tattoos
- Smoking
- Being a Detroit Lions fan
- Soccer
A beautiful girl with porcelain skin walked by, and as I ogled her, as any man, old or young might, I disappointedly noticed that she had tattoos on her leg, arm, and neck. How could those add anything to the pristine beauty of her skin that most women would die for? My theory has always been that once a person crosses the line one time into the world of a tattoo, he or she will indulge multiple times. Are people afraid that they may forget a loved one’s name or a particularly important quote? I just don’t get it.
The last frontier for smokers is the casino. Unabashedly, the smoker relishes in the freedom of smoking inside since bars, restaurants, and even bowling alleys restrict smoking to outside. One smoker was in the casino store purchasing a pack to keep his chain-smoking streak alive. I heard the cashier say, “Thirteen dollars.” My mother and so many of her generation born in the 1920s and 1930s finally succumbed to COPD after a lifetime of addiction to nicotine. However, since the 1960s, the surgeon general has placed a warning on packs of cigarettes about their imminent danger to health. Every time I see a person in a wheelchair with an oxygen tube up his/her nose, I just don’t get it.
1957 was the last time that the Detroit Lions won the NFL Championship. They are one of two or three teams that have never been to the Super Bowl. Despite the enforced parity in the draft and payroll, the Lions just can’t get it together. Yet, the organization continues to raise ticket prices with yearly attendance at an all-time high. Fanatics, not fans, paint their face in silver and Honolulu blue to celebrate their beloved team. I don’t get it.
Soccer. I know that most of the world will hate me for this, saying that I just don’t understand the game of “futball.” This is what I understand: watching paint dry is more exciting than watching a game for over two hours that has minimal shots on goal and ends in a one to one tie. Then, there is a shootout where the helpless goalie must retrieve the ball from behind him several times. And what about the “injuries”? A player goes down as if shot by a gun, writhing in anguish only to be up and running at full speed moments later. And what about the goalies? If you stop two of the three shots on goal, you become an All-Star. I had to supervise one such high school soccer game. I told my athletic director the next day that I went to two soccer games last night – my first and my last after standing out in the blistering cold as the game went into overtime and a final score of one to nothing. I don’t get it.
Certainly, there are many, many more of these rants that you can provide. Feel free to comment on your own pet peeves or just shake your head mumbling, “I just don’t get it.”
