Those of us who live in the north, Michigan to be more exact, have developed a sense of humor about the weather. If we didn’t, we would end up assuming the hunker down posture facing the elements with our teeth clenched and expletives emerging from our steamy breath. Despite the meteorologist’s most convincing conclusions as to what to expect in the next twelve to twenty-four hours, quite often we are in for a surprise. Michigan weather is a formidable opponent for any Doppler device. We have often used the statement”
If you don’t like the weather now, just wait a few hours, and it is bound to change.
One of the most humorous statements that I had heard about this fickleness from Mother Nature was the response to Sonny Elliot about one of his prognostications. Sonny Elliott was an icon in the weather reporting business in the Detroit area. He would combine two words to describe the weather in a unique manner. For instance, if the weather called for a breezy and rainy day, he would call it a “brainy” day. Snowy and freezing became “sneezing”. He was great at those. Now back to that humorous statement. Sonny had promised a partly cloudy day. It snowed mercilessly. The complaining listener wrote in to Sonny that he had just shoveled four inches of partly cloudy off his front porch!
Sonny Eliot | 1920-2012
My good friend Dennis McMahon and I have been exchanging quips about the weather for a couple of years now. Here are some examples that deal with the traffic and closings reports that often accompany inclement weather:
- Thunderbird Bowling Alley is open but only the far two lanes are available.
- Conditions at Ernie’s Adult Book Store are both sleety and breezy, making it sleazy over there.
- Be careful over by the Planters Peanut factory. We hear the place has not been salted.
- Blizzard conditions prevail by the Dairy Queen.
- Weather over at the Pampers factory remains unchanged.
- Drivers are in a real pickle over by the Vlasic company.
- We heard even the corn flakes were frosted over at Kellogg’s.
- Couldn’t figure out why the snowman had his pants down until I saw the snow blower come down the street.
- Keep away from the Chey dealership. We heard there were a couple of avalanches in the parking lot!
- Library is closed due to snow stacked several stories high.
- Chiquita banana outlet is reporting slippery conditions especially if you try to peel out of their parking lot.
Well, you get the drift (ouch). Perhaps you can make some of these silly statements of your own to help you get through the rest of the winter. Certainly, Phil the groundhog rarely furnishes any relief except for more humor.
Cover image information: a snowy residential street in Detroit – Corner of Second and Canfield Avenues, Detroit, Michigan, USA, 1905
